The Unremarkable Start of a Cyclical Journey

I remember my first period arriving without ceremony, a quietly hushed event met with a matter-of-fact instruction: “This is your lot as a woman.” No fanfare, no celebration. Just a sense of inevitability and duty. It was a transition into womanhood framed as something to endure rather than embrace.

For years, I lived disconnected from my cycle. It wasn’t until much later—through professional learning and personal exploration—that I truly understood the power and rhythm of my menstrual cycle. Reading The Red Tent by Anita Diamant when it was published in the late ’90s was a pivotal moment for me. It was the first time I thought about how menstruation was treated historically—before shame and silence became entrenched. It kick-started my curiosity about our cycles, which were not burdens but sources of power and wisdom. It was to be many more years before I confidently used this knowledge.

The book’s portrayal of women retreating together during their cycles, honouring their shared experiences, made me rethink everything I knew about menstruation and womanhood. It kick-started my curiosity about our cycles, which were not burdens but sources of power and wisdom.

Yet, while we are starting to reclaim the importance of understanding our menstrual cycles, menopause—the transition to our Matriarchal phase—remains largely uncelebrated in Western culture. Why? This question led me to explore how other cultures mark this transition and why ritual and celebration matter so deeply.

Forgotten Rituals: Honouring the Wise Woman

In many Indigenous cultures, menopause is seen as a sacred transition into wisdom and leadership.

For the Maori people of Aotearoa (New Zealand), where I am from, the role of the
kuia (elder woman) is highly respected. The kuia holds knowledge passed down through generations, guiding her community with wisdom that comes from a life lived fully. This transition isn’t shrouded in shame or silence—it’s honoured as a vital part of community life.

Similarly, many Native American tribes view menopause as a time when a woman becomes a wise woman or spiritual elder. The Lakota people, for example, believe that when a woman no longer menstruates, she holds all her wisdom within. Her energy, no longer spent on reproduction, can be directed outward to the community.
She becomes a keeper of stories, traditions, and healing practices.

Even within Wiccan traditions, the transition to the Crone phase is a celebrated rite of passage. The Triple Goddess archetype—Maiden, Mother, Crone—honours the cyclical nature of life. The Crone embodies wisdom, transformation, and the power of endings leading to new beginnings. In Wicca, a Crone ceremony may be held to mark this transition, celebrating the woman’s journey through life and the wisdom she now brings to her community.

These traditions recognise that leaving behind reproductive years is not an ending to mourn but a beginning to celebrate. They remind us that there is immense value in ritualising significant life transitions, especially for women.

 

Reclaiming the Crone: Muse, Mentor, Matriarch

Last year, I had the privilege of delivering a keynote at the FUEL conference in Auckland, New Zealand. The audience was made up of women in the fitness industry, and my presentation focused on the Triple Goddess archetype and its relevance to our modern lives. But instead of using the traditional labels of Maiden, Mother, and Crone, I reimagined them as Muse, Mentor, and Matriarch.

Why the change? The word “Crone” carries baggage. It’s been twisted by patriarchal narratives to mean something ugly, undesirable, or irrelevant. But historically, the Crone was revered as a wise woman, healer, and truth-teller. During the witch trials across Europe, thousands of women—many of them healers and midwives—were executed. These witch hunts were not just about religion; they were about dismantling women’s collective power in healing and storytelling. The burning of witches was a brutal attempt to erase the knowledge and autonomy that women held within their communities.

This historical context resonated deeply with me. It made me realise that reclaiming the Crone—reclaiming our transition to wisdom and leadership—is an act of resistance. It’s about stepping into our power and refusing to be silenced.

The impact of this realisation was profound. So much so that I marked the moment with a tattoo. At the conference, I unveiled my first tattoo on stage—a symbol of the Triple Goddess. It was a personal declaration of my commitment to honouring these cycles and stepping into my role as a Matriarch.

Pop Culture’s Quiet Shift

While traditional rituals have been lost or buried under layers of patriarchy, pop culture is beginning to catch up. Books like Period Queen by Lucy Peach have sparked conversations around menstruation and the power of women’s cycles. More recently, films, podcasts, and documentaries have been reclaiming menopause in a way that acknowledges its impact without reducing it to medical symptoms.

But there’s still a gap. We see celebrations for births, weddings, and even retirement—but menopause is rarely marked with ritual or recognition. This lack of acknowledgement reinforces the idea that menopause is something to be endured quietly rather than embraced as a powerful transition.

Why Ritual Matters

Rituals are powerful markers of change. They provide a sense of closure and a way to honour what was while welcoming what’s to come. In every society, rituals exist to mark births, deaths, and marriages—key moments that shape our identities and communities.

For women, transitioning to the Matriarchal phase is just as significant. It’s a time to reflect on the wisdom gained through lived experience and to step into a role of leadership and mentorship.

Yet, without ritual, this transition can feel invisible.

Western culture’s aversion to ageing, particularly for women, only compounds this invisibility. Instead of celebrating the power and freedom that comes with menopause, we’re sold anti-ageing products and told to stay youthful at all costs. It’s a narrative that keeps women disconnected from their power.

Living Cyclically in a Linear World

One of the most profound realisations in my professional learning journey was that women’s hormone cycles don’t fit neatly into a linear, 24-hour model. We are cyclical beings living in a linear world—a world designed around the male circadian rhythm.

Understanding this truth has shaped the way I teach and create courses for women. Through EVE Light and my online courses for fitness professionals, I’ve worked to highlight the power of embracing our cyclical nature. When we live in alignment with our cycles, we unlock a deeper understanding of ourselves. But this understanding shouldn’t end when our periods do.

Menopause is not the death of our cycles—it’s an evolution. Our bodies may no longer follow a menstrual rhythm, but we remain deeply connected to natural cycles: the moon, the seasons, the ebb and flow of life itself. This cyclical wisdom deserves recognition and celebration.

Reclaiming the Matriarch

So, what would it look like to reclaim menopause as a rite of passage?

For me, this exploration has been about more than just marking the end of periods. It’s about challenging the narrative that women’s value is tied to their reproductive years. It’s about stepping into the role of the Matriarch with pride, not shame.

Other cultures and traditions have long recognised the importance of this transition. It’s time we do the same—because leaving behind the reproductive years is not an end, but a powerful new beginning.

What would it look like if you could design the most fitting ritual or ceremony for your transition to Matriarch?

I would love to know – please write in the comments below!