Imagine you’re ready to start thinking about having kids. You’re nowhere near your biological “use-by” date—or at least that’s what everyone keeps telling you. But then life throws you a curveball. Suddenly, doctors are casually dropping terms like “premature ovarian insufficiency,” and you learn that your ovaries have decided to pack up decades before you were ready to stop using them.

It hits hard, because no one sees it coming. And let’s be clear—it’s not just about biology. It’s the gut-wrenching loss of what you’ve always assumed was yours by right. Our society quietly whispers (and sometimes shouts) that womanhood and motherhood are deeply entwined. So what happens when the baby-making furniture ages out way before the rest of your house?

POI isn’t just “early menopause”—it’s emotional whiplash. It’s grieving the children you imagined, the family you planned, the future that suddenly looks so different. It’s the punchline of a cruel joke: you’re young, you’re healthy, but your ovaries are acting like they’ve lived a lifetime ahead of you.

Yeah, we’ll get to the medical facts—the how, the why (or frustratingly, why-not-yet)—but first we need to acknowledge this pain, this weird kind of mourning. Because understanding POI starts with understanding the emotional earthquake that shakes everything you thought you knew about yourself and your future.

What Exactly is POI?

Premature Ovarian Insufficiency (POI) is when your ovaries slow down or completely stop functioning normally before you’re 40. It means fewer eggs, disrupted hormone production, and often, the loss of regular periods. While early menopause typically happens between ages 40 and 45, POI can hit women in their teens, twenties, or thirties, affecting about 1% of women under 40. This isn’t just menopause turning up early—this is your reproductive system unexpectedly hitting the brakes.

Spotting the Signs

POI often announces itself subtly. Irregular or completely absent periods are usually the first red flags. Add fertility struggles, hot flushes, night sweats, mood swings, anxiety, depression, and low libido into the mix, and the signs become harder to ignore. A diagnosis typically involves hormone testing, ultrasounds, and an exclusion of other potential causes, like thyroid issues or autoimmune conditions.

But even with clear symptoms, POI frequently remains undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, often leaving women feeling isolated, misunderstood, or dismissed.

The Emotional Aftershock

The emotional toll of POI is intense and often overshadowed by clinical conversations. Suddenly being faced with infertility or a severely shortened fertility window brings profound grief. Society conditions women to see motherhood as a fundamental right or at least an expectation. Having that stripped away abruptly can feel like betrayal.

Beyond infertility, POI often shakes your identity. Women describe feeling “broken” or “less of a woman.” Anxiety, depression, and isolation are common companions. The invisible emotional weight is rarely spoken about openly, making an already painful experience even lonelier.

Understanding the “Why” (Or Frustratingly Not)

In most cases, we simply don’t know why POI happens—it’s labelled idiopathic, medical jargon for “we have no bloody idea.” Occasionally, known factors like autoimmune disorders (thyroid conditions, Addison’s disease), genetics (Turner syndrome), or medical treatments (like chemotherapy or radiation) provide some explanation. But the majority of women with POI never get answers, which compounds the emotional turmoil.

Managing Life with POI

While there’s currently no cure, managing POI effectively can drastically improve quality of life. Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT or MHT) is recommended to protect bone density, heart health, cognitive function, and reduce symptoms. Physical activity, particularly resistance training and cardiovascular exercise, also becomes crucial—not only for physical well-being but emotional resilience too.

Mental health support can’t be overlooked either. Grief counselling, therapy, and connecting with support groups help navigate the emotional labyrinth. Fertility counselling, including discussions about donor eggs, IVF, adoption, or redefining family, is also an important part of managing expectations and emotions.

POI and Fitness Professionals: Changing the Conversation

For fitness professionals, understanding POI is essential. Clients experiencing POI aren’t just dealing with hormonal chaos—they’re grappling with emotional upheaval. Training programs need flexibility and sensitivity:

• Include bone-safe exercises.
• Emphasise energy management and mood stabilisation.
• Foster a supportive environment that acknowledges emotional struggles rather than ignoring them.

Fitness professionals are uniquely positioned to offer meaningful support by seeing beyond a diagnosis and recognising the emotional toll POI exacts.

Rebuilding the Room

Here’s the truth: there’s no tidy, inspirational ending here. POI can feel like your reproductive furniture aged out long before you even had a chance to fully use it—like inheriting antiques you never asked for, taking up space where something newer, brighter, more you was meant to be.

But here’s the thing about furniture—sometimes, with a bit of support, reshaping, or simply repositioning, the room can still become a space that suits who you are right now. Maybe motherhood takes a different shape, maybe family means something broader and deeper, or maybe healing simply starts when we stop pretending it’s okay to feel robbed of the future we’d imagined.

Acknowledging POI’s emotional toll openly is the first step to reclaiming your space. No, you didn’t choose this old furniture. But it’s your room. And it’s okay—necessary even—to decide exactly how you want to rearrange, repurpose, or even discard some of those pieces. Because your life, your womanhood, and your value extend far beyond the state of your ovaries.

You’re allowed to grieve, rage, rebuild, and rearrange. After all, this house—your life—is still yours to shape.